Warren Ellis says: "Here's what you know.

A "doctor" with a funny foreign name performs a "procedure" on a skinny geek which turns said skinny person into a "super-soldier." It is decided that no-one must know who this person is, and so they are given to the US Army under the name "Captain America."

Possibly you weren't paying full attention when this was being explained to you. Possibly you have a drinking problem. And those headaches have been getting worse. Also, as the person who looks just like you and follows you around all day has commented, your poop has turned grey.

NONETHELESS. You must take what you heard and turn it into a character design.

You have one week."

I did that in quite a rush...